The more I think about what’s to come in 2010, I feel that I need to reflect on what actually happened in 2009.
2009 started off as a great year.. we started off the year in Goa, India, sitting on a beach, eating, drinking, playing cricket and the rest.. we travelled around India and Dubai and returned home mid-Jan.
In late March, BIL came to visit, nothing out of the ordinary.. took a week off to eat and hangout with him.. he left on the 7th April.. I found out I was pregnant on the 7th of April. We had been trying but we were still a bit shocked by the news – in a WOW kinda way!
April.. we were beaming.. told my mother and my brother about the impending baby and all was well.
May, I got a new job.. yay.. a bit more money and a lot more fun than my last job.. End of first trimester – I was telling everyone.. I was the first of my friends to get pregnant – everyone was so excited.. the guys at work began to run a sweep regarding gender and potential names!
June was business as usual - a few more scans, the OB told us we had a "very good looking baby"
July.. we had our 19 week scan - found out we were having a little girl (yayayayaya) - we were told she was a bit small but didn't think anything of it having not been through anything like this before.. my partner got a new job.. quit his old job and went to melbourne for a week to rest! 30th july I had a scan that would shatter all our dreams.. OB told me "your baby most probably wont be alive at the next scan and moved us into the specialists hands..
August.. we met with the specialist only to be told that our baby was no longer alive.. 5th August.. i gave birth to my beautiful girl.. Matilda... the rest of August is very much of a blur..
September.. returned to work.. interesting experience.. some people avoided me, some people ignored what had just happened and a few people said sorry.. later that month i went to the Beyonce concert - i was sooo excited about taking my baby to that concert and now i knew that wouldnt happen.. i cried during the concert but thankfully no one noticed..
October... nothing of great note happened in october..
November.. my birthday was the day i wanted Matilda to be induced.. alot of people told me i was crazy but i wanted to share my day with my bubby.. my birthday was a sad day.. but i was surrounded by friends and kept busy so i made it through..
December.. Matilda's due date was the 13th.. it was meant to be Matilda's first xmas.. I'm glad December is over..
I'm so sorry your Matilda isn't here with you. My Matilda's due date was December 13 as well.
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