its been a while since my last post... i suppose you could say i have been internalising... i have found myself in a new realm of grief... alas.. thats another post..
while driving home today i had this thought... regarding peoples non-recognition of angel babies..
if a person's parent dies do we assume that parent never existed? no... if a sibling dies we still acknowledge that person... so why then when a baby dies (particularly if she still born - well at least in my case) do people choose to ignore her like she never existed? why do people say i still don't have any children? the same people that wanted buy gifts and make plans for and with the baby in question?
i was talking about life before Matilda yesterday, and referring to a situation before she was born as my pre-child state... to which the person i was speaking to said "and you still dont have any children"...
well excuse me..... but i think you will find that i do!!!!
so there!
Oh my gosh! You are a mother, just your child isn't here with you. People just don't think, do they? I have 3 children now, but my middle child is in Heaven.
ReplyDeleteWhen I sent out a text announcing Kyle's birth, I mentioned that I was announcing the birth of our third son. How could I not acknowledge the son I lost.
Take care, Lana. I have been thinking of you so much lately, and thinking and praying for the safety of your new little one.
xxx
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ReplyDeleteAh, oops!
ReplyDeleteThat's so incredibly frustrating. I wish more people understood how much our babies are a part of our lives, even though they aren't physically here with us. I don't understand why they think like that either. Just because they may have never seen our baby or because our baby died before he/she got to take a breath, they didn't exist??! No! Not like that at all. Thinking of you so much! You are a mommy! And a really good one! :) Don't let anybody tell anything else!
thanks ladies... your right maggie.. you know i have a handful of photos and i'd love to show them to people so they would realise she was real.. a real little person.. alas.. they would undoubtedly freak out at the sight of a dead baby... *sigh*
ReplyDeletethanks fiona - you and bubby kyle are in my thoughts too.. im sure the next few months will the tough but hang in there and keep smiling!